Mel insults Tom much later than usual

Mel rips the first task brief into fairly large strips, and then asks if the others had created nine pieces. After Tom Cashman asks her if she is aiming for more than nine, she rips the large pieces into smaller pieces.

She picks some of the pieces of paper up off the floor as Tom gives her the second task brief. After reading the second task brief, she looks at the pieces in front of her, then puts them into a neat pile, before stating that she’s going to guess the task, as she can’t read it.

Mel initially guesses that the objective of the task is to make Tom feel good about himself. She starts off saying “Although you are single and live alone, there’s still hope.” She then says that she likes that Tom doesn’t brush the front bit of his hair, before reassuring him that his ears do not need to be pinned back, and that whoever said that they did is wrong.

Mel continues her back-handed compliments by saying “Regardless of what your ex says, I would refer her to the legal average penis size”, telling him that being pescatarian is a “super good choice”, and assuring him that the post with his sister on his recent trip was “normal”.

She keeps going, by stating that the fact Tom drives a Peugeot is “endearing”, and that she thinks that his time on The Project was “fine”. She also notes that he doesn’t get a lot of eye contact, and that she knows why, because she’d read an article. She then tells Tom that he should read it himself with his “big glassy eyes that look like there’s a shark behind them”. This final comment prompts Tom to blow his whistle.

In the studio, when Tom Gleeson asks Mel if she’d known that she had completed the task, she shouts “NOPE” and confirms she’d had no idea what had happened.

Tom Cashman reveals that there had been 21 other tasks where, within five seconds of entering the room, she’d insulted him, calling him “Bin Juice” on 13 separate occasions, and “maggot” seven times.

When Tom Gleeson says he’d felt that there was an insulting tone to all of the things that Mel had said to Tom Cashman, while ostensibly trying to make him feel good about himself, Lesser Tom claims that he didn’t feel that, and had taken all her comments as compliments.

It’s revealed that Mel had taken 17 minutes and 28 seconds to insult Tom, and she earns just 1 point.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo & Will G and adjusted by David Fuller)