Mathew’s snooty Eton cap

When Mathew announces that he has brought in “the Oppidans’ Cap from The Wall Game at Eton College”, Greg reacts by stating that it’s so snooty, he doesn’t even understand it.

Mathew explains that The Wall Game is only played once a year, on St Andrew’s Day, and only at Eton College (“the snootiest of all the schools”).

When Rosie asks Mathew how he’d gotten hold of the cap, he shares that he got it from a friend. Alex asks Mathew if his friend is Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Bear Grylls, or Alan Shearer, all of whom he claims are Eton alumni. When several people are astonished that Alan Shearer was included in the list, Alex responds “I didn’t believe it either, when I wrote it”.

When Greg asks Mathew to give him a “vague idea of the rules” of The Wall Game, Mathew says that, as far as he can tell, it’s “a rugby scrum up against the wall”. When Greg then asks where the “snooty hat” comes into it. Mathew states only that it’s the hat worn by “the Oppidans team”. Still none the wiser, Greg states that “It’s so snooty, it’s beyond language”.

When scoring the task, Greg states that Mathew’s prize is “so snooty, I still don’t know what it is”, and awards him 5 points.

(Written by Karl Craven and proofread by M3 / Andres Sanchez)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)