The Muppets accuse Concetta of faking her Italian heritage and Mel of shitting in some quince paste

Upon entering the room, Pete looks at the headshots of Concetta and Mel and says “Aww”, while Rhys jokes that the task brief will be to “Kill these women.” As Pete reads the actual task brief, Rhys dabs Vegemite onto the noses Mel and Concetta’s photos.

Aaron points to Concetta’s image and remarks that she’s Italian. Pete confirms this, but Rhys suggests that they should investigate her history. Pete claims that Mel had been kicked off The Great Australian Bake Off because “She shat on a cake.”

The team’s disinformation video begins with black-and-white footage of Mel and Concetta. Pete narrates in a solemn voice, stating that the pair have had audiences laughing for years, but claims that many are asking “Is it time for the laughter to stop?”.

Rhys appears as a reporter, using a banana as their microphone. They introduce an interview with Australian icon Maggie Beer, played by Pete in a long blonde wig. When Rhys asks Maggie what had happened on Bake Off, she claims that Mel had defecated in a tub of quince paste and then shared it with the crew. Rhys is then shown chasing after Mel—portrayed by Aaron in a brown wig—yelling “Why did you shit in the cake?!”, while Mel shouts back “Get away from me, you arsehole!”. Maggie then adds “It was enormous. It was a lot of poo.”

Rhys then turns their attention to Concetta, saying “We now turn our gays (and lesbians) onto the story of Concetta Caristo.” Aaron appears as an ‘Authentic Italian Comedian’, accusing Concetta of not actually being Italian, and accusing her of taking away roles from real Italians, who are now left with only the Chinese roles.

Rhys then chases Concetta—played by Aaron in a short brown wig—asking questions like “What’s your favourite landmark in Italy?” and “Can you put pineapple on a pizza?”. Concetta responds in an Italian accent, asking “How can you say this? I am Italian. I love pizza?” before fleeing.

Rhys then interviews ‘legitimate police officer’ Sergeant Lou Tennant, played by Pete, who urges viewers to provide the police with any tips about “Mel Battle and Concetta Crytal”.

The video ends with a scrolling list of the pair’s alleged infractions, along with the fake hotline number ‘1800 POOPCAKE’. Pete’s voiceover pleads “Please, stop the crimes, and crapping into tubs of Maggie Beer Quince Paste.”

In the studio, Tom Gleeson praises the team’s use of wigs, saying that he’s glad they’ve made a return. Pete reflects on how the contestants have bonded during the season, but then claims that Mel had offered him quince paste the day before, and that he’d thought it tasted “weird”. When Aaron gently reminds him that “We just made that up”, Pete shakes his head and says “No we didn’t.” When Rhys insists that “It was disinformation”, Pete replies “I don’t get it.”

When it comes time to award point, Tom declares that both teams had done well, but says that he feels that Ernie and Bert had edged it by “a smidge”. The Muppets therefore earn 4 points each.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)