Ernie and Bert accuse Pete of feeding Aaron with Rhys’ udder milk

When Concetta and Mel arrive in the room, they comment on the other team’s headshots, calling them “cute” and “gorgeous”, with Concetta admitting that she wants to kiss them all. When Tom Cashman tells them that they’ll need to get that positivity out of their system, Mel responds that she likes the sound of that, and begins reading the task brief.

Seated at the table together, they pair brainstorm ideas. When asked for suggestions about Aaron, Mel says that she won’t say hers out loud because she’d never work again. Concetta suggests accusing Aaron of being racist against Italians. She also wonders if they should include something paranormal, and then proposes claiming that Rhys has udders. Mel instantly agrees with this idea, while Tom questions whether udders count as paranormal.

The pair present a faux news broadcast together, in which Mel wears a brown hat and Concetta wears a long blonde wig. Mel announces a news interruption from “The Australian 7pm Factual News, reported by the government.” Concetta then introduces herself as Sarah Paprika, before Mel declares “And I’m 47.”

They accuse Peter Helliar of a two-decade-long career built upon a monkey writing all of his jokes for him, and allege that Pete has also publicly declared his enthusiasm for upskirting. Mel then accuses Aaron of entering a sham marriage and of cruelty near an animal, stating that he was caught “doing a wank near a seagull.”

After Tom hands them a piece of A4 paper marked ‘breaking news’, Concetta announces that Rhys Nicholson has been caught with udders, which are secretly milked by Pete so that Aaron can drink the milk and grow “big and strong”. Mel concludes the broadcast by calling it “disturbing stuff”.

In the studio, before Tom Gleeson can respond, Pete theatrically drops his phone and then crouches down near Concetta to pick it up. Tom then says that Concetta and Mel’s video was a good effort, but jokes that he may need to deduct points because it had contained no disinformation at all.

When it comes time to award point, Tom declares that both teams had done well, but says that he feels that Ernie and Bert had edged it by “a smidge”. Concetta and Mel therefore earn 5 points each.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)