Lloyd defends his zebra’s honour

Lloyd tells Tom Cashman they are going to have a fight, but that he is going to win.

Deciding that there needs to be a narrative in place before the fight, Lloyd explains to Tom that the narrative is that he is having a night out with his (fiberglass) zebra, and that Tom is staring at the zebra in a lustful way. Tom takes the opportunity to ask him, “So, if I’ve wronged you in regard to this kind of animal, would you call it a ‘zebra crossing’?”. Lloyd admits that this joke is not bad, and he subsequently decides to title his scene “A Zebra Crossing”.

In the scene, Lloyd tells Tom to stop looking at his zebra. Tom responds by claiming that it’s a free country, and that there is no law about not looking at zebras. Lloyd orders him to move away from his zebra, but Tom refuses, and so Lloyd says he’ll have to move him away, before adding that he is a very strong man. After Tom continues to stare at Lloyd’s zebra, Lloyd slaps him in the face, sending Tom flying backwards a great distance before landing in a deckchair. Lloyd then picks up his zebra and they go home.

In the studio, Tom Gleeson questions whether beating up Tom Cashman shows great strength, and Tom Cashman reveals that he had been punched a distance of 17 metres.

Lloyd explains that his original plan had been to show off many different feats of strength as possible, such as wife-carrying (as practiced in Scandinavian countries). Tom Cashman says that he had forgotten about this part of the attempt, in which Lloyd claims he had carried Tom back and forth across the paddock several times and that, on one occasion, Tom had farted on him [some unbroadcast footage of this part of Lloyd’s attempt was subsequently published on Instagram].

Lloyd ultimately earns 2 points for his feat of strength.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)