Abby’s sitcom spin-off of The Phantom of the Opera

Abby’s list includes the British monarchs Elizabeth I and Henry VIII, but the twentieth person on her list is Christine Daaé, the female protagonist from The Phantom of the Opera.

In the studio, Abby admits that there were many other monarchs on her list, and Paul notes that no-one on her list had been born after 1970.

Abby decides to produce her biopic in the form of a US-style sitcom titled ‘Christine and Erik’, showing what happened after the story of The Phantom of the Opera. It begins with Abby (playing Christine) in the kitchen, and the title of the episode is ‘The Dinner Party’. When Paul (playing Erik, the Phantom) enters the kitchen wearing his cloak and mask, Christine asks him if he’s done any murdering. He says “a little” and then brings out a severed human hand. The scene is accompanied by canned laughter, and Abby looks directly into the camera as she delivers some corny lines.

In a hackneyed sitcom storyline, Erik reveals that he has been promoted, and has invited the Head of the Opera House around for dinner. This establishes the expectation that the couple are going to have to try to avoid upsetting Erik’s boss.

Christine is then seen sitting at the table with the Head of the Opera House (also played by Abby, putting on a French accent). Erik brings her out a plate of food under a cloche, before revealing that it contains cabbage and the severed human hand he'd brought home with him. The Head of the Opera house exclaims “A Hand!”, before subverting expectations by adding “I have always wanted to eat a hand”.

In a dramatic change of direction, Christine then claims that she’s going into labour, before she is seen lying on a bed in the lab, with Erik holding her hand. She groans a little, announces that she is going to die, and then tells Erik to write a musical about her. After she dies, Erik places a rose on her body and then disappears in a puff of smoke. A sting from the theme tune plays, and the words ‘To be continued…’ appear on the screen.

In the studio, before Jeremy can say anything, Abby acknowledges that three of the characters she’s used in her task attempts have died in childbirth. Paul points out that you don’t see many deaths in sitcoms, before joking that his favourite episode of Friends is “The One Where Rachel Dies In Childbirth” (thus coining the episode title).

Jeremy points out that the task was to create a biopic, and that Abby had instead chosen to film a multi-camera sitcom, so he awards her 1 point.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo and adjusted by David Fuller)