Tofiga breaks the ice, Tom prioritises profits, and Abby plagiarises her life story

Tofiga suggests that he can do some ice-breakers at the beginning of their retreat, and Abby notes that she’s autistic, so that part probably isn’t the best for her.

When Abby asks what their corporate message is, Tom suggests that it’s a “veneer of caring, but money first”.

Tom warmly welcomes all the participants to the retreat, and they are served beverages by Abby, who is wearing a shirt, sunglasses, and a large hat. Tom announces that once they all have a drink, they’ll get straight on with the session, because “time is money”.

Tofiga’s ice-breaker involves making everyone stand up, turn to their left, and massage the shoulders of the person in front of them. He also encourages them all to hum while performing their massages, before instructing them to “chop” on one another’s backs.

Tom takes over the session and shares the acronym ‘Money and Power Over People’, which is written on a green sheet of paper. He then says he’s going to hand over to a surprise guest, who has been there all along, but in a disguise.

Abby bounds out from behind the refreshment table, takes off her sunglasses and hat, and introduces herself to the participants as ‘Trish’, the firm’s top executive. She tells them “So let that be an important lesson to all of you”, explaining that you never know who you’re talking to, so should always be polite.

‘Trish’ goes on to tell the story of how she got to the top: how everything was going well but that her uncle was a jealous man who’d told her there was going to be a bunch of wildebeest, and that she should go and see them; and how her dad had tried to save her from the wildebeests, but had fallen into their path and been killed.

To end the corporate retreat, Tom announces that they are all going to stand up and sing the company song, which has the lyrics “Corporations watch everything we do so they can do targeted marketing”.

As the retreat ends, Tom shouts “Go forth!”, and Tofiga and Abby thank everyone for coming.

In the studio, Jeremy likens the event to the Nuremberg rally, claiming it had Nazi vibes at the end with Tom’s “Go forth!” chant. Tom agrees and says he feels a “bit icky” about it, but adds “Such is corporate life, you know?”.

Jeremy also says he could see that Tom was concerned with where Trish’s speech was going. He then turns to Abby and suggests that her story felt a lot like the plot of The Lion King. After Abby agrees, Tom points out that The Lion King had stolen from Hamlet, noting that “we all steal stories”, and Abby chimes in to claim that Hamlet had stolen from Trish’s life story.

When Jeremy asks Bubbah how she felt about Tofiga getting people to massage one another, Bubbah says it was a different perspective on how close you can get to people “without it being weird”. Hayley questions her assertion that it wasn’t weird, and Jeremy says he thinks it was pretty weird. Bubbah argues that it would have helped people bond, and suggests that they all turn and massage one another. After they do so, Hayley agrees that it was quite nice, and claims that she now feels closer to them all.

Abby, Tofiga and Tom earn 2 points each.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)