Rhys bursts through a touchball banner

Rhys announces that their banner will be for the tournament of touchball, then says to the camera that they had clearly won the touchball match against Tom Cashman. Tom responds that that didn’t happen, Rhys says it absolutely did, and they both then accuse one another of lying. Rhys also points out that Tom had gotten their gender incorrect, calling it hateful.

As Rhys starts to write their banner, they state “I’m becoming that John Mulaney bit where you run out of space.” They continue, but as they are writing the letter ‘A’ in ‘ball’, the paper rips. Rhys remains calm and continues writing the letters, more gently, insisting that it’s all good.

As they continue with their banner, Rhys asks Tom if he can believe they were rejected from three art schools, before admitting that they actually weren’t accepted, but had taken that as a rejection. When Tom points out that they should have, since that is what rejection means, Rhys pauses and asks “Who would know more than you?”.

Rhys’ completed banner reads ‘It’s touch ball baby’ in primary colours, and there is a picture of a sad person in the corner. Rhys bursts through it wearing a captain’s hat and holding an electric guitar. After they’ve burst through it, they yell “Yeah, touchball!” and pretend to play the guitar, before continuing with “I won! Fuck You!”. Lightning then shoots out of the end of the guitar and hits Tom, making him disappear.

In the studio, Tom Gleeson states that when Rhys had been painting and being mildly amusing, they had reminded him of Rolf Harris. As the audience groan, Rhys says “No! No touch ball!”.

Rhys says they like art and crafts, and that they are a crafty person, but they go on to say that craft isn’t always art. Aaron responds that “Sometimes it can be cheese” (referring to Kraft Cheese).

Rhys’ banner earns first place due to the artwork and because it was about “the nation’s favourite sport”, touchball, while their burst-through earns second place. Overall, Rhys wins the task and earns 5 points.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo and adjusted by David Fuller)