Danielle's rock ballad

Danielle decides early on that she's going to create a rock ballad.

For her actual performance, she sings over a slow soul music backing track with guitars wailing over it.

The entire performance is shot with red lighting and her hair is blown dramatically while she sings and pretends to play the guitar herself.

The lyrics to her song are as follows:

My name is Danielle and
I am sick as hell.
I'm cooler than a cold-room in June,
Where you keep all your beef.
Guavas and lychees are my favourite food,
And I can make a mean ragu.
I am pretty good with dogs,
And I can pick up their poo,
'Cause I'm desensitised to their poo.
I worked at a dog hotel,
For a number of years over my teen years,
And I cannot smell poo anymore.
My mum said I'd be a great nurse,
Because I don't smell poo.
But I have a fear of veins,
So I cannot do that.
I've got the voice of an angel,
And the arse of a demon.
ut the sexy arse of a demon,
Not one that would be gross,
And covered in warts and pus.
Like the best arse you've ever seen,
Smooth like a marble,
But soft like a bla...baby's...
No, not a baby dolphin...

In the studio, Danielle says the the job at the dog hotel was the favourite one she'd ever had, but simply didn't pay enough.

Shockingly, Tom Gleeson awards Danielle fourth place for her song, even though he claims that he loves it. This draws boos from the audience, which are very much encouraged by Danielle, but fail to change Tom's mind.

(Written by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)