Kiell drags Greg’s face through the dirt

Kiell enters the caravan with several satsumas stuffed into his mouth and one hand in his pocket, and chooses a gold snapback hat.

While struggling to keep himself from drooling due to all the satsumas in his mouth, Kiell decides to fetch a step-ladder, which he then props up on Greg’s head before throwing the hat at it. When his first throw lands on the ladder, Kiell attempts to claim that it should count because the ladder is already on Greg’s head.

Kiell then enlists Alex’s help in removing the statue of Greg from the throne it is seated on (who knew this was even possible?), leaving Greg face-down in the grass.

With time running out, Kiell and Alex move the throne out of the way, and try to move Greg closer to the spiral target which had stood behind it. This leaves behind a narrow trench of mud in the lawn, from where Greg’s face had been dragged along the ground.

Kiell then arranges a collection of items around Greg’s head (which is still face-down in the mud), to give the hat a much better chance of settling on the head. After a few attempts, he does eventually manage to throw the hat and land it kind of against Greg’s head.

Having completed the task, Kiell is very relieved to be able to remove all of the satsumas from his mouth, though the whole ordeal has left him with extreme jaw pain.

In the studio, Greg criticises Kiell’s technique by saying that he had “piled enough shit around the head, and randomly lobbed a hat toward it”, with the hat ultimately just barely resting against the head. However, it is ultimately decided that the rules of the task had only stated that the hat had to settle on the head, and Kiell had otherwise not broken any rules, so his effort is deemed valid.

Kiell manages to get the hat onto Greg’s head from three-and-a-half Rowan Atkinsons away (6 metres and 30 centimetres), so he earns second place.

(Written by M3 / Andres Sanchez and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)