Linda blesses viewers with new nicknames for Mark

As Linda arrives in the lab, she greets Mark by his full name, and Mark replies that he’s happy that she’s finally learned it.

Linda gasps, and admits she had completely forgotten about her recurring bit, during her original season, of giving Mark a new last name every time she greeted him. She then re-shoots her entry to the lab, greeting him as “Mark le Faldefærdig” (‘Mark le Dilapidated’). Then, to make up for all of her lost opportunities, during the course of filming the special (implying that this was likely one of the final tasks filmed), she proceeds to also give him even more names, including:

• “Mark le Festfyrværkeri i sengen bliver du nok aldrig” (‘Mark le Fireworks-in-bed-you-will-probably-never-be’)
• “Mark le Forværring af enhver stemning” (‘Mark le Aggravation-of-any-mood’)
• “Mark le Fremmedlegeme i kroppen” (‘Mark le Foreign-body-in-the-body’)
• “Mark le Fæ og folk” (‘Mark le Fool-and-folk’)
• “Mark le Fødselsdepression” (‘Mark le Postpartum-depression’)
• “Mark le Firserhit” (‘Mark le Eighties-hit’)
• “Mark le Frisbee”
• “Mark le Føntørrer får du nok aldrig brug for” (‘Mark le Blowdryer-you-will-probably-never-need’)
• “Mark le Forskerhold” (‘Mark le Research-team’)
• “Mark le Fare for sure opstød” (‘Mark le Danger-of-acid-reflux’)
• “Mark le Fedtforbrænding” (‘Mark le Fat-burning’)
• “Mark le Fuckboy... I think not”

After this montage of Mark’s new names is delivered, Mark introduces Linda’s task attempt in the studio, during which he says perhaps the most harsh thing he has ever said about any of the contestants – and certainly about Linda: that if anyone were to look up pictures of Linda from the beginning of her career, one might easily see the resemblance between her and unbaked bread dough. Linda laughs and then gives him another new nickname: “Mark le Fyrretræ” (‘Mark le Pine-tree’).

It transpires that Mark’s comment isn’t as harsh as it first appeared, because while Linda is kneading the dough to cover the length of the lab table, she gets the idea to make “the old Linda P”.

With Mark’s help, she moves the table full of dough into the kitchen, where she tears off some of the dough, forms it into a braid, and then places it in a baking tray. She then adds on various other balls of dough, referring to them as different parts of her body – her head, her feet, her hat (which she offered up as a prize, during her original season) – before covering the whole thing with excessive amounts of food colouring. She then puts her creation into the oven to bake for 15 minutes.

Mark returns to Linda in the lab with her baked work of art, and Linda asks him to rate it, on a scale of between 1 and 40, while she unsubtly twists a towel, in preparation to whip him with it, if necessary. Mark hesitantly rates her creation at 21, and Linda flicks the towel at him, telling him to try again. Mark reluctantly starts with “syv og…” (‘seven and…’), before Linda finishes for him by saying “fyrre” (‘forty’) [note: the Danish numbering system works opposite of the Anglicised one; instead of saying “forty-seven”, Danes would say “seven and forty”].

In the studio, Linda insists that her creation is beautiful, but struggles to actually describe how it looks like her.

Unsurprisingly, Lasse awards her last place.

(Written by Jenny R and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by Jenny R and adjusted by David Fuller)