The Discount Wiggles expose how The Mint is making everyone horny

As Jenny, Lloyd and Wil brainstorm conspiracy ideas, Jenny asks who controls all the money in the world, and Tom Cashman tells her it’s The Mint. He goes on to share that he’d attended a school excursion to The Mint in Year 6, and that it had cost him A$2 to buy a A$1 coin. Lloyd then suggests that maybe The Mint are putting hormones in the money, and Jenny jumps on board with the conspiracy, arguing that their aim is to “make people really horny”.

The team decide to present their conspiracy as a video podcast titled “Follow the Money”. Wil and Jenny are the hosts the show, while Lloyd is a whistleblower from The Mint, wearing white coveralls, a facemask, goggles, and gloves.

Lloyd explains that he has discovered that The Mint, in coordination with various world governments, is adding hormones to money in order to make people horny and drive population growth. The hosts are shocked at this revelation, but Jenny soon breaks and has to hides her laughter behind her hand.

When Wil asks Lloyd how the hormones are being added to the money, Lloyd reveals that he has smuggled out a bottle of the hormones used. He claims that he’d accidentally spilled some of the hormones on himself and that “it was like trying to land a tuna, it was flapping around”. The hosts agree that this is unbelievable and incredible, before bringing in their second guest, Tom Cashman.

Tom recounts the story of when he’d visited The Mint with his school, when he was 12 years old. When Wil asks if he’d touched the money, Tom says that he did. Wil then asks Tom if he’d subsequently been hornier in his teenage years, and Tom confirms that he definitely had been. Jenny exclaims that everything matches up, and that they have clearly exposed the truth.

Towards the end of the podcast, Wil says they like to pay their guests, and Jenny hands a wad of cash to both Lloyd and Tom. Upon accepting the money, Tom very quickly becomes incredibly ‘horny’, pulling a weird face while wriggling around and slipping low down in his chair.

Wil closes the show by saying “See you next time. Stay horny!”.

In the studio, Wil and Jenny share that they had actually recorded a lot more content than was shown. Tom Gleeson observes that Wil had been very at home “hosting a dodgy podcast” (Wil hosts a regular, long-running podcast named Wilosophy). He also comments that it was very different to Wil’s usual podcast, as he’d actually paid the guests on this one.

When Tom Gleeson states that the real star of the show had been Tom Cashman’s portrayal of horniness, Tom responds that he’d just done what was asked of him.

Jenny, Lloyd and Wil earn 4 points each.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: Karl Craven)