Croydon Today covers Mrs. Cratchington’s achievement

Having read the task brief, Andy’s first suggestion is that they could barbecue some actual hearts.

Babatunde then suggests they do a story about a local animal giving birth, prompting Andy to suggest that they could do a story about a gerbil giving birth to a car.

The team present a news report for the local news show ‘Croydon Today’, with Emma playing the part of the newsreader ‘Sophie’, Babatunde playing the part of cycling correspondent ‘Gogo Jenkins’, and Andy playing the pensioner ‘Isabella Cratchington’, who is about to become the oldest winner of the Tour de France.

Before the report begins, we see Emma ending the previous news item, noting that “the largest of the crocodiles is still at large”. When she then hands over to Gogo Jenkins to report on Mrs. Cratchington’s progress, there is a painfully long satellite delay, during which he is unable to hear her.

As Gogo begins to talk about the race, Isabella passes through the finish line behind him. He notes that there will be doping checks, and suggests that she is very likely to fail them.

Gogo then interviews Isabella about her strategy (which she reveals was to “get to the end in a shorter time than everyone else”), before asking for her thoughts on performance-enhancing drugs. As Mrs. Cratchington responds that “it’s never been proved”, she tries to hide the very large syringes which are hanging from her pearl necklace.

After Gogo hands back to Sophie in the studio, she forebodingly states that she knows “that woman” and knows for a fact that “she should not be there”, before ending the broadcast on a more upbeat note, reminding viewers to be aware that “the new volcano will erupt on Saturday at 7pm”.

In the studio, Emma says that Andy had been very inspired by their story, prompting him to claim that he’d taken up road cycling, and had won the Tour de France himself.

Greg observes that Isabella Cratchington had somehow looked younger than Andy, which Andy suggests is probably due to “the blood doping”.

Greg also points out that it’s unusual to see newsreaders claiming “there’s more I could tell you about that, but I won’t”, leading Andy to suggest that they tend to say it with their eyes, rather than words.

In awarding points, Greg decides there’s not much in it, between the two teams, but that he slightly prefers the story about Isabella Cratchington. The team of three therefore earns 4 points each.

(Written by Karl Craven and proofread by M3 / Andres Sanchez)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)