Jack and Rosie’s uneasy professional relationship

Having read the task brief, Rosie asks whether the story has to be true, prompting Alex to ask whether she is planning on doing some actual journalism.

Moving away from that idea, Jack points out that such ‘and finally’ news stories are usually about something like a panda being born. After Rosie points out that babies are cute, Jack argues that “Not everyone likes babies that much”, and suggests that stories about “puppies and stuff” are generally more heart-warming.

The team’s news report begins with Jack (playing the part of the newsreader of the show, titled ‘Look Out’) asking “Makes you think, doesn’t it? People like that make me sick.” while a photo of Alex Horne is shown in the corner of the screen.

Jack then announces that they have an update on a previous story about “Harold the lonely hedgehog”, who had been found at a bus stop in Lewisham, “crying real tears of loneliness.” Jack, who is wearing a blonde wig and glasses, then hands over to the show’s roaming reporter, Rosie, who is wearing a long, blonde wig.

Rosie begins her report by complaining that she’s not in a “lovely, warm studio” like him, but is out “doing the REAL work”. She then shares that Harold the hedgehog has met a friend in the form of ‘Roger’, and that the two have bonded over their “mutual love of leaves, mud, and cricket”. She then hands back to the studio, referring to Jack as “our own prickly hedgehog”, which he takes exception to.

In the studio, Greg makes sure to note his appreciation of the implication, at the start of their report, that Alex is an on-the-run sex criminal, but then also points out the irony in Jack’s appearance, stating “I’d have that man arrested based on looks alone”.

Rosie clarifies that the tension between their two characters was because Rosie had been wanting to take Jack’s desk-based job for years, but “he won’t fucking retire”.

In awarding points, Greg decides there’s not much in it, between the two teams, but that he slightly prefers the story about Isabella Cratchington. The team of two therefore earns 3 points each.

(Written by Karl Craven and proofread by M3 / Andres Sanchez)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)