Captain Jackie breaks all the rules, and disappoints a hotdog

Rosie enters the living room wearing the hot dog costume, and states that she’s feeling confident about the task.

After Jack pokes his head through the nautically-themed portrait, Rosie tells him that he looks lovely, and then sings “Captain Jackie and the hot dog” (thus coining the episode title), prompting him to sigh in exhaustion.

In the studio, Rosie claims that she feels “quite sad” to learn that Jackie had been instructed to lie to her during the task. When Greg suggests that Rosie playing her joker during a team task showed she had great faith in her team-mate, she claims that Jack was her “comedy hero”, and that she therefore believed that he would never let her down. Greg then asks her if she feels that Jack reciprocates her faith in him, before asking for the clip of Jack’s reaction to her song at the start of the task to be replayed.

Rosie begins the team’s attempt by asking Jack if the chest contains food. However, the team doesn’t establish an effective means of silent communication for Jack, like the team of three had, so he seems to decide to chuckle to himself when Rosie is guessing along the right lines, and remain silent or look disappointed when she’s barking up the wrong tree.

Jack giggles in response to Rosie asking whether the chest contains a fruit, then remains silent when she guesses that it’s a banana, an apple, or some grapes. He then gives her a hint with his face by miming the expression of having eaten something sour, prompting her to ask whether it’s a citrus fruit. Jack chuckles out loud in response to this, and then laughs enthusiastically when she asks if it’s a lemon.

When Rosie asks if the chest contains “lemon bleach”, Jack sighs. Alex then asks Jack if Rosie is “along the right lines”, and Jack responds “Definitely, I think it’s only a matter of seconds before she guesses all the items in the box”, thus giving away the fact that Rosie needs to identify more than one thing. When Rosie then asks him if there’s more than one thing in the chest, he gives a very affirmative facial expression. When she then asks him if there are two things, he laughs in response. When she asks him if the other item is also a fruit, he actually says “Uh-uh” to her, prompting Alex to state that his responses are “bordering on communication”. Jack responds that he doesn’t think it is.

Rosie also asks Jack if the other item is some kind of food, a book, a living creature, a tool, a rubber duck, a flag, or a balloon. Although his responses to each of these are not shown, he appears to keep reacting with sighs or disappointed facial expressions to indicate a ‘no’.

When Alex asks Jack if he thinks Rosie should ask “much, much more specific questions”, Jack responds that “her approach of just scatter-gun guesses is eventually going to do it”, adding that “it could take a few months”.

Rosie switches tack, asking whether the object is made of glass, metal, and then paper. Jack hums in response to the first two questions, but then reacts positively and encouragingly to the third.

He then gives Rosie another big clue as to what the paper item is by doing a big sniff through one nostril. When Rosie suggests that it’s money, he basically cheers in response. Rosie then asks if it’s £5, and receives another enthusiastic response from Jack, before giving her final answer of “£5 and a lemon”.

In the studio, Greg puts it to the team that Rosie’s guesses were “entirely arbitrary”, and that Jack was “openly talking at times” and had at no point during the task lied, as he had been instructed.

Jack attempts to argue that you “can’t tell a lie with a facial expression”. When Greg insists that you can, Jack refuses to accept that “Otherwise my wife has been lying to me for a long time”.

Alex repeats the two rules about only making “silent facial expressions” and not nodding or shaking your head, both of which Jack had clearly and repeatedly broken throughout the task.

Having been accused of never lying, Jack argues that he couldn’t possibly be expected to remember instructions he’d received 20 minutes before the task started, prompting Greg to sarcastically state “Oh, well then, full points to Captain Jackie and the hot dog”.

When Greg asks Rosie how she’s feeling about everything, she asks “Why did you put me with granddad?”.

Alex repeats the rule from Jack’s secret task about his team losing an actual point each time he told the truth, and then (very generously) claims that there were only three occasions on which Rosie had asked a question and Jack had openly nodded or shaken his head without lying. It is therefore decided that they should lose 3 points, but the decision is then passed to Greg about whether Rosie should actually lose 6 points, since she was wearing the hotdog costume. Greg eventually decides that the doubling of points only applies to the base points awarded in a task, and not to any subsequent deductions, so both Jack and Rosie end the task with -3 points.

(Written by Karl Craven and proofread by M3 / Andres Sanchez)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)