Hayley’s shamefully inaccurate biopic on a friend

Hayley’s list includes 11 previous Taskmaster NZ contestants, including Madeleine Sami, and the twentieth person on her list is Paul Ego.

Before her biopic is revealed, Paul points out that Hayley knows Paul and his family intimately, causing Hayley to hide her face in shame.

Before producing her biopic, Hayley is seen stating that Paul Ego has two sons, and admitting that she is unsure of their names, suggesting that they are named something like Abe or Gabe. She then admits that she’s also forgotten Paul Ego’s wife’s name, despite having met her many times.

Hayley’s biopic starts begins with a silhouette of Paul Ego, and a voice-over asking if people know the man behind the voice. Hayley, wearing a bald cap and glasses, then appears as a young Paul Ego, playing cowboys in the paddock. The voice-over states that Paul had enjoyed a privileged upbringing, as young Paul yells “I love the ‘70s!”.

Jumping forwards in time, we see Paul as a young man as the voice-over states that he’d met his beautiful, petite wife, Jane, and that after some “delicious marital sex”, Jane had given birth to “Gabe and then his brother, or vice-versa”.

Hayley then appears as Paul in the bar, performing a comedy routine as talking about Gabe and his brother, before the biopic covers how Paul had joined More FM’s breakfast show.

After the film cuts back to the silhouette of Paul Ego, the voice-over asks what is next for Paul Ego “aka Paul Jones”, suggesting that perhaps he will land a starring role on Celebrity Bake Off (which Hayley hosts).

In the studio, Jeremy points out that Hayley had put an awful lot of focus on Paul’s children, considering she couldn’t remember their names. Hayley apologises to Paul’s family, whom she has met several times, and she points out that his wife’s name is actually Janine, not Jane. After Ben reassures her that she’d at least gotten the name Gabe right, she says “Yes, but I forgot…”, and Ben steps in to remind her that Gabe’s brother’s name is Isaac.

Jeremy states that it’s difficult making something about someone you know, especially when you don’t know the names of their children, and awards Hayley 3 points.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo and adjusted by David Fuller)