Tom becomes a low-budget Dr. Who

While trying to decide what is ‘incredible’, Tom tries to prompt Paul to give him an idea by saying “When I say incredible you think…”, but Paul does not answer. When Paul repeats the phrase back at Tom instead, Tom’s immediate answer is time travel.

Paul and Tom are then seen standing together outside the caravan, where Tom tells Paul that he is going to time-travel to 10 different eras in his “incredible time machine”. Tom then steps into the caravan, which temporarily disappears, before Tom steps back out of it, holding an old-fashioned gun and a pair of furry feet slippers, and announces that he has just killed a T-Rex. When Paul comments that the fact that Tom has brought back the T-Rex’s feet seems “inhumane”, Tom admits that he regrets doing it.

Tom then steps back inside his time machine before re-emerging wearing a curly wig and angel wings, claiming that he has just told the Virgin Mary that she’s pregnant, and that she took the news “remarkably well”.

After his third trip through time, he emerges holding a statue and a sword, claiming that he’d fought in The Crusades.

He returns from his fourth trip wearing a cowboy hat and a moustache, claiming to have just made love to Jesse James.

After his fifth trip, he emerges wearing a brown top hat, and claiming that he had arrested Jack the Ripper. He adds that Paul would never believe who it was, but then claims to have been sworn to secrecy.

His sixth trip ends with him emerging from the caravan wearing round metal framed glasses, a long blonde curly wig, and a CND pendant, claiming to have been partying at Woodstock.

He returns from his seventh trip wearing a pointy bra, a bright green hat, and another curly wig, claiming to have been hanging out with Prince, Madonna, and Cindy Lauper.

His eighth trip is to the year 2025, and he emerges cautiously from the caravan and asks Paul if he has any “dictatory totalitarian tendencies”.

After taking a ninth trip to an unspecified era of the future, Tom claims that there’s lots of LARPing happening there.

After his tenth and final trip, he emerges from his time machine wearing a net skit around his neck and face, and holding two plastic eyes, claiming that he’s come from the “distant future of the distant past where only amoebas live”.

He then emerges from the caravan one more time, but states that he just wanted to check that he was back in the present. He then tells Paul that he will do anything he wants him to, addressing Paul as “Overlord”.

In the studio, Jeremy suggests that they should discuss The Crusades, and asks Tom which side he’d fought on, the Christian side or the Muslim side? Tom evades the question by claiming that he was just a pilferer.

Tom earns 5 points for his incredible time-travelling journeys.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)