Julia's improvised country song

While trying to determine which genre of music to go with, Julia suggests that Tom Gleeson is probably into Gregorian chants (in the studio, he responds that he actually prefers Ambrosian chants).

She then toys with the idea of singing a hymn about herself, before trying out many other genres (17 in total).

She eventually settles on a country song, which she then appears to completely improvise, while sat on the desk.

The lyrics to her song are as follows:

Well, she's a model for ya,
She's the best in town.
She used to be fit,
But now she's round.
She's round,
But she's also around.
75 years in the biz,
She calls all the shots.
She used to be a Mrs,
Now a Ms.
That means she's not attached.
[thigh-slapping solo]
Now I've got a red thigh,
'Cause I was slappin' real hard.
That skin's so loose,
But I kinda like it.
Now it's like a goose,
It's kinda hairy-sided.
If you take the hair off,
And ah, my leg's quite smooth.
But no-one sees them,
'Cause I'm not handing anything over to anyone again.
I'm single.
I think that's one of my best qualities for now.

In the studio, Tom Cashman confirms that Julia had written down only one line of lyrics, before improvising the rest of the song (while making full eye contact with him throughout).

After Tom Gleeson asks whether Julia was trying to seek romantic attention through her song, she says something that gets censored, but appears to be "Nooo! You know, I would like to word this in a different way, but I have sucked my last cock."

Tom Gleeson awards Julia first place for her "improvising genius".

(Written by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)