Steve invents a whole gang of new characters
While squeezing one of the first few hands, Steve comments “Oh, that’s nice”. When Alex asks him why it’s nice, he responds that it’s “warm”.
He then takes the scissors and cuts off the fingertip of the first hand, correctly identifying its contestants as acorns. Observing that the task brief had instructed him to identify ‘who’ he was shaking hands with, Steve decides to create a character to represent the contents of each glove on the chalkboard, beginning with “Aileen A. Corns”.
For the third hand, he incorrectly identifies its contents as tomato soup, and adds the character “Tom A’tosoup” to the chalkboard.
After cutting the a fingertip off of the fourth glove, he correctly identifies its contents as a xylophone, and adds the character “Zy Lofone” to the chalkboard. At this point, although he is not shown investigating the second hand, he has incorrectly guessed that it contains dominoes, which he records on the board as “Dommy Noes”.
After shaking hands with the fifth glove, he gasps in the realisation that it contains a real human hand, and gleefully asks “Can I cut on of these fingers off?”. He then incorrectly identifies the owner of the hand as Greg Davies, based on how high up it is poking through the fence, and records “Greg Davies TM” on the board.
While squeezing the eighth hand, he observes “I’m getting nature. Something you’d line a gerbil’s cage with.”, before incorrectly guessing that it contains straw (which he uncharacteristically records as just “Straw” on the chalkboard).
While squeezing the sixth hand, he exclaims “What the hell?” and then incorrectly guesses that it contains “little lychees”, which he records on the board as “Lye Cheese (OBE)”.
He decides to use the scissors on the ninth hand, leading Alex to say “Let’s see what’s inside number nine” (a reference to Steve’s well-known TV show, which was previously referenced during Steve’s attempt at the ‘Do the riskiest thing with this egg’ task). As soft-boiled egg runs out of the glove, he observes “It’s horrible, innit?”, and then records a new character in the ninth slot on the chalkboard as “Sof’t Boi’ledeggs”.
He is not seen investigating the seventh hand, but incorrectly guesses that it contains water, which he records on the board as “W.A. Ter”.
After his time is up, he backs away from the scene while saying “See you, Greg. Love your work.” at the fence. The fifth hand is then shown giving him a thumbs-up in response.
In the studio, Greg suggests that Steve has been living “a refined life”, based on the fact that he identified the pickled onions as “mini lychees”.
Alex confirms that Steve had only correctly identified the contents of three of the gloves, and had not identifies him as the individual he’d shaken hands with, so he earns just 1 point.
(Written by Karl Craven)
(Illustrations collected by Jenny R and adjusted by David Fuller)
