Joanne invents a messy game
Joanne first interprets Alex’s greeting of “One, two, three, four” as the prelude to a game of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’, and chooses to throw the hand gesture for ‘rock’, inferring that Alex would choose ‘paper’.
After reading the task brief, she immediately considers involving shots of tequila, as she wanted to get some alcohol into Alex. In the studio, Greg suggests that Joanne had fallen back on a national stereotype with “getting hammered”. He then asks if she’d subsequently dressed in a leprechaun costume, and Joanne tells him to stop talking, as he is ruining the surprise.
Remaining within the hutch for her attempt, Joanne and Alex are seen wearing top hats, aprons, and stick-on moustaches. In front of each player on the table, there is a bowl of mustard, a bowl of custard, a bowl of peri peri sauce, a cup of water, and a shot of rum. There is also a bucket in the centre of the table. Joanne then explains the rules to her new game, which is called “Custard, Mustard, Oh My!”.
The main objective of Joanne’s game is to keep one thumb clean. If that thumb is “sullied”, as Joanne puts it, you’re eliminated. She tells Alex that the other nine fingers must be dipped into each bowl, and the substances sucked off of the fingers. After dipping fingers into all three bowls, the player must then dip their thumb into all three condiments and smear them against the other player’s forehead.
Joanne begins the game by saying “Fee fi fo fum”, and she and Alex then down their shots of rum, throwing the glasses away afterwards. Both players then dip most of their fingers into the first bowl, then lick the fingers clean, using the bucket between them as a spit receptacle. Joanne goes much faster than Alex, who is apparently disgusted at getting his fingers dirty. In the end, she manages to stick her thumb on Alex’s forehead, thus winning the game.
In the studio, Greg admits to finding Joanne’s game “intriguing”, as he got the sense it was a game she’d played many times before. He then brings up a catchphrase which Joanne had coined during her explanation of the rules of the game, and a clip of her saying “Suck it off” is played in the studio. When Greg asks for more explanation of the game, Joanne says that she mainly wanted focus on “shots, speed, custard”. John comments that those three words would be great on a t-shirt. Greg agrees with John, but suggests the addition of Joanne’s catchphrase of “Suck it off”, providing an opportunity for the clip to replayed again in the studio.
Ultimately, Joanne is awarded 4 points for her novel game.
(Written by M3 / Andres Sanchez and proofread by Karl Craven)
(Illustrations collected by Jenny R and adjusted by David Fuller)
