Episode 9: The cockle children

Episode synopsis

In this episode, the contestants must bring in the best non-container container, walk exactly one furlong in exactly 10 minutes, clean a picture of nature on a dirty thing, place some balls in a gutter on Linda the cow, and guess whether a series of items will float or not.

Title context

Greg Davies states that he had imagined himself as “one of the cockle children of the Thames”, while looking at Jack Dee’s dirty artwork and listening to Emma’s “haunting song”, during studio discussion of the ‘Clean a picture of nature on a dirty thing’ task.

Taskmaster Intro

Thank you, thank you! Welcome to Taskmaster! A juggernaut of comedians crashing off Career Mountain. Soon, one of them will hold aloft the golden trophy depicting... my delicious face. The losers will be rightly kicked from their homes and have to live in the forest like giant human rats.

Assistant Intro

And next to me, a man who told me that he likes attending parents evenings because his middle child’s form tutor is, and I quote, 'one hot piece of ass'. It’s little Alex Horne!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

So, what have we learnt today? We’ve learnt that sometimes, you can get caught up in the mundanity of everyday life. Maybe you have to get the kids to school, maybe you have an office job which isn’t fulfilling at the moment. But we all have the ability to take ourselves away from it. Just stop, step out, go into nature, and breathe it in. Is that... Is that the Jackson 5? That’s it, then, just the grand final to go. But to see it out, here she is, the winner of episode nine, Emma Sidi!