Tim tries to end his friendship with Alex
After confirming that it’ll be Alex that’s eating the food, Tim immediately decides that his ‘D’ ingredient should be ‘Dog food’.
His full list of ingredients is as follows: All Bran [fibre-rich cereal], ‘Back’ [possibly back bacon?], Cheese spread, Dog food, Eggs, Flour, Grapefruit, Hog, Juice (cow) [milk], Kettle Chips, Lloyd Grossman Sauce [a brand of sauce named for a TV presenter], Marg [margarine spread], Nachos [originally Nutella], Onions, Pheasant [originally Parrot], Quince, Super chillies, Tequila, Umbongo [fruity soft drink], Wine [red wine, specifically], X-large grape [an extra-large grape], Yop [yoghurt drink], and Zebra [actually rabbit].
It is unclear which ingredients he requested for the letters ‘I’ (though he initially writes ‘Ink’ on the board, presumably meaning squid ink, none of the food appeared to be black), ‘R’, or ‘V’.
Tim makes a meal consisting entirely of main courses, including a roasted pheasant, and a ‘zebra pie’ containing rabbit cooked in red wine, tequila and Umbongo.
He plans to make dog food ravioli, but neglected to order any pasta, so has to make his own using cheese-flavoured Kettle Chips and nachos as a base. The ravioli also apparently contains quince and All Bran. Alex describes the ravioli as “not easy”, but mainly due to the pasta, rather than the dog food.
The drink contains Umbongo, ‘fizzy ice cubes’, Yop, and tequila, which Alex describes as tasting like Malibu.
At the end of the tasting, Alex tells Tim that “if someone served this to you, you would not remain in contact with them”.
In the studio, Alex reports that every course contained grapefruit, and that Tim had called the whole meal “Citric Faeces”.
Despite being barely edible, Tim’s meal is ultimately awarded third place by Greg, who says that he likes to be frightened while he’s eating.
(Written by Karl Craven)
(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: Karl Craven)