Fern's sesquipedalian diss track

Here's a description of the contestant's attempt. Someone's probably working on collecting some images to illustrate it.

Fern writes down the words 'Dilapidated', 'Imbecile', 'Obsequious', 'Serendipitous', and 'Sycophant'. While listening to her options for the backing music, Fern reveals that she can play Sonata in C Major by Mozart. In studio, she shares that she spent two years during school learning Mozart's Sonatas, "instead of having friends". The backing track she chooses, though, is Piano Sonata No.11 In A, K331: III. Alla Turca: Allegretto by Mozart. The lyrics to her song are "Here we are again, series 14 / Who will become the house's queen? / It is me Fern Brady, me Fern Brady / I'm the rightful queen / Dilapidated house, filled with mystique / Nobody knows what we will see / Only one contestant will achieve the height of victory / And the tasks were serendipitous / They were gifts to the Taskmistress / All the other contestants / They were boot-licking sycophants / Dara's a big bold imbecile / Mr Kearns is an obsequious chap / And Sarah and Munya are losers and I'll stamp on their toes." Although he initially states that it is a masterpiece, he ultimately awards Fern joint second place with John.

(Written by Karl Craven)