Write a classic song incorporating five wonderful words

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Points

17

Disquals

0

• John writes the words 'Satsuma', 'Pyjamas', 'Lance', 'Fantastic', and 'Curry, and selects Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky as his backing music. The lyrics to his song are "I found a naughty satsuma in my fantastic curry / Oh yes, I found a naughty satsuma in my fantastic curry / The lady on the phone said, "What? Get here, you prick. I will lance you into next week" / I said, "I'm in my new pyjamas and I'm free", I said, "I am free to complain to you and moan". / "Hello?"". In the studio, Greg suggests that his song is the best thing that John will ever do. He awards him joint second place with Fern.
• Fern writes down the words 'Dilapidated', 'Imbecile', 'Obsequious', 'Serendipitous', and 'Sycophant'. While listening to her options for the backing music, Fern reveals that she can play Sonata in C Major by Mozart. In studio, she shares that she spent two years during school learning Mozart's Sonatas, "instead of having friends". The backing track she chooses, though, is Piano Sonata No.11 In A, K331: III. Alla Turca: Allegretto by Mozart. The lyrics to her song are "Here we are again, series 14 / Who will become the house's queen? / It is me Fern Brady, me Fern Brady / I'm the rightful queen / Dilapidated house, filled with mystique / Nobody knows what we will see / Only one contestant will achieve the height of victory / And the tasks were serendipitous / They were gifts to the Taskmistress / All the other contestants / They were boot-licking sycophants / Dara's a big bold imbecile / Mr Kearns is an obsequious chap / And Sarah and Munya are losers and I'll stamp on their toes." Although he initially states that it is a masterpiece, he ultimately awards Fern joint second place with John.
• Sarah writes down the words 'Biscuit', 'Greenery', 'Toadstool', 'Bralette', and 'Catnip'. She correctly identifies most of the pieces of music Alex plays to her, and selects Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy as her backing track. Her lyrics are "I look out of the window / I see greenery and some brownery. / There's a toadstool. Can I really eat it? / I'm inside a bralette, which is a comfier bra (less scaffolding), / with my cat, who is fighting catnip. / Biscuits are my catnip too. / Oh look, there are crumbs in my bralette." (coining the episode title). In studio, it is revealed that she hated doing the task due to a former partner who would tell her that her singing sounded awful. Greg awards her first place for her song and backstory.
• Dara writes down the words 'Defenestration', 'Fandango', 'Gyratory', 'Palabras', and 'Nebulous', and selects In the Hall of the Mountain King by Edvard Grieg as his backing track. His lyrics are "Do you know my greatest fear, / of all the fears, my greatest fear, / is to be the victim of defenstration? / That fear might seem nebulous, mysterious, fantabulous, / But it spins around my head, it's quite gyratory. / They used to do it in Prague a lot, in olden times, political plots, / but listen now, I'll tell you how it happened to me. / I once met a man in Spain who said to me to do a dance, / "Señor, do the fandango, or through the window you will go." / I said "No, I will not go, out the window, no, no, no." / "Take those foul palabras and shove them down your throat."" Greg says the video reminded him of a public information film from the 1970s. Dara earns joint fourth place with Munya for his effort.
• Munya wrote down the words 'Loquacious', 'Jovial', 'Emphatic', 'Sex', and 'Euphoria' and, like Fern, selected Piano Sonata No.11 In A, K331: III. Alla Turca: Allegretto by Mozart as his backing track. The lyrics to his rap were "Goodness gracious. / Big brows in the mansion, spacious. / Got a posh ting and her back's bodacious. / Never talks slow, she's so loquacious. / Real fanatic. / Go to the gym but I'm still an asthmatic. / Crowd goes wild, emphatic. / Money up like cash in the attic. / Jovial. / Alex Horne, that's the homey, yo. / Is that euphoria? / Is it me or did we just get hornier? / I'm on Taskmaster. / I'm like Greg but I rap faster. / And when he raises his specs, that can only mean one thing: sex." Greg describes his song as "the most middle class rap I've ever heard in my life". When prompted to explain what it was actually about, Munya is unable to provide a narrative to satisfy him. He earns joint fourth place with Dara for his effort.