John finds a satsuma in his curry

Here's a description of the contestant's attempt. Someone's probably working on collecting some images to illustrate it.

John writes the words 'Satsuma', 'Pyjamas', 'Lance', 'Fantastic', and 'Curry, and selects Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky as his backing music. The lyrics to his song are "I found a naughty satsuma in my fantastic curry / Oh yes, I found a naughty satsuma in my fantastic curry / The lady on the phone said, "What? Get here, you prick. I will lance you into next week" / I said, "I'm in my new pyjamas and I'm free", I said, "I am free to complain to you and moan". / "Hello?"". In the studio, Greg suggests that his song is the best thing that John will ever do. He awards him joint second place with Fern.

(Written by Karl Craven)