Mel marries her own hand

Mel retells a story from her childhood about when she told someone she was getting married to her own hand, and she decides to make this a reality for her attempt at the task.

At their wedding, Mel is wearing a white blanket and a veil, and her left hand has two googly eyes on it, and is held as if it is a sock puppet.

Paul is wearing a red cloak and a hat, and announces himself as a celebrity magician, before welcoming everyone to the wedding.

There are various different versions of Mel and her hand in attendance at the ceremony, playing the couple’s family members.

Mel starts saying her vows to her hand, whom she calls Handy, stating that she’s always loved him, ever since high school when none of the boys were interested in her. Handy says that he feels the same way.

When Paul asks if anybody objects to their marriage, one of the Mels in attendance (wearing a blonde wig) does object, and everyone else gasps in shock.

Magician Paul recognises the blonde-wigged Mel as Taylor Swift, and Mel claims that Taylor’s always got her back. ‘Taylor’ then reveals that she’s seen Handy cheating on Mel with none other than Paul himself, and some pictures are then shown of Paul and Handy in bed together. Mel is angry at Handy, and Handy’s own mother calls him a bastard.

Paul then uses the red cloak to make himself disappear, which impresses everyone in attendance at the wedding, who give him a round of applause.

In the studio, Mel says she chose to marry her hand because, as a woman in her mid-20s, she had looked at most men and decided “your hand can do a better job” (thus coining the episode title).

Karen suggests that she could also consider women instead, and Mel responds that she’s been convinced.

Mel earns 1 point for failing to actually get married.

(Written by Will G and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo and adjusted by Karl Craven)