Episode 9: A new business end

Episode synopsis

In this episode, the contestants must: bring in the most underestimated item; complete as many snorts, raspberries, and whistles as possible; write a one-minute, one-person play; stage and perform someone else's one-minute, one-person play; paint a self-portrait using a selected brush on a selected canvas; and get a towel tied to their body into a bucket.

Title context

'A new business end' was a phrase used by John Kearns, in reference to his sausage, during the 'Paint a self portrait with a selected brush on a selected canvas' task.

Alternate Titles

• On Finland's MTV Katsomo streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Uusi käyttöpää', which translates as 'New operating end'. [Translator credit: zador]
• On Sweden's SVT Play streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Kan du vissla, Fern?', which translates as 'Can you whistle, Fern?'. This is a reference to Fern Brady's attempt at the 'Snort, raspberry, whistle' task.
• On Norway's Discovery+ Norge streaming platform, this episode is titled 'En ny funksjonell ende', which translates as 'A new functional end'. Note: this Norwegian translation of the title only appears in the subtitles for the episode, whereas the episode title listed on the platform is the original English title. [Translator credit: Jan Harald]

Taskmaster Intro

Thank you! Welcome to Taskmaster. I'm Greg Davies, and I've got some news for you. The end is nigh, the penultimate episode is upon us, and what a joy it's been to watch these pumped-up athletes of task perform. Their skill range is so broad that, together, they're like a giant human Swiss army knife. I'll leave you to decide which of them is the weird thing for getting stones out of horses' hooves that no-one ever uses, but I'll give you a clue: it's John Kearns. So let's get on with it, shall we?

Assistant Intro

And next to me, a man who recently confided in me that he thinks that the refuse team that collects his bins every week are stupid, and don't deserve to be paid. It's little Alex Horne!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

So, what have we learnt today? We've learnt that, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. And to prove that point, I'd like to end the show with another success story. I've been working with him in the break, and now to finish the show, it's over to John [John pretends to whistle a tune]. Hey, it's the final next. How did that happen? But for now, please applaud tonight's winner one more time. It's Fern Brady!