Ali’s advert for Kajaani

Ali’s dart lands on the city of Kajaani in central Finland, which is part of the Kainuu region, and had a population of just over 36,000, as of early 2023. Ali muses that every advert for every Finnish town tends to focus on the summer weather, and so he instead wants to make a more honest advert for such a winter city such as Kajaani (even though it’s not actually part of Northern Finland). He searches the kitchen and finds various food items, declaring that he will cook up a “Kajaani hot pot” to use in his advert. In his advert, Ali warns any potential tourists that Kajaani is actually quite a horrifying place, as their traditional dish – the Kajaani hot pot – is incredibly unappetising and unappealing, and that the best thing to do in Kajaani is to become an alcoholic, just like many of the top athletes who hail from the area. He does point out that anyone still brave enough to visit can go to the nearby village of Vuokatti (known for its ski resort), even though he claims that they sacrifice cats by cooking them into casseroles (this is actually just wordplay on the name of the town, which he has decided is a portmanteau of ‘vuokka’, meaning ‘casserole’, and ‘katti’, meaning ‘cat’), and that the ski slopes are actually formed from the corpses of dead athletes who have tripped over one another. Ali also gives Kajaani a new slogan: “Kajaani: a place where you don’t want to die, but you don’t want to live, either.” Jaakko awards Ali fifth place. After the scoring is complete, Ali tells Jaakko that he is grateful for any points bestowed upon him (as this worked so well for him after the previous task). Jaakko plays along, and once again gives Ali a bonus point.

(Written by Jenny R and proofread by Karl Craven)