Kalle’s advert for Haapajarvi

Kalle’s dart lands on the town of Haapajarvi, in northern Finland, which is part of the Northern Ostrobothnia region, and had a population of around 6,600, as of early 2023. Kalle searches the shed, wondering what a Haapajarvian person might look like. He finds a bright yellow safety vest and a bright yellow straw hat, and dons both of them. He finishes off the look with a rake, which also has a yellow head, and bare feet (in Finland, the idiom ‘bare-footed’ refers to someone who still lives where they were born). In Kalle’s advert, he introduces himself as ‘Reijo Haapajarvi’, the mayor of Haapajarvi (‘Reijo’ is a name associated with pension-aged Finns), who wants to give viewers a tour. He declares that Haapajarvi has thousands of sights for visitors – namely, “a thousand different kinds of aspen, and one lake” (‘Haapajarvi’ literally translates to ‘aspen lake’). He takes the time to point out a tree stump, declaring it the remains of Haapajarvi’s very first aspen, visited annually by “more than six people”. He also notes that something that makes Haapajarvi unique is the fact that none of the roads are paved with asphalt, even though half of all Haapajarvian men are employed as roadworkers. He then shows the Haapajarvi town hall (played by the Suurmestari mansion) which he says also serves as a school, bakery, and art museum, as needed. Kalle also invites visitors to snack on the traditional cuisine: fresh dog milk and twig pulla (pulla is a semi-sweet wheat bun, but Kalle appears to be implying that ground twigs have been used instead of wheat flour). He cautions visitors that there may sometimes be a complete lack of electricity, or skirmishes with the bordering town of Pyhahajarvian, but that all are welcome to contribute to Haapajarvi’s “very slowly” growing population. In the studio, the other contestants give Kalle a standing ovation for his advert, and Jaakko awards Kalle first place.

(Written by Jenny R and proofread by Karl Craven)