Stian’s offensive candles

Stian brings in something intended for people who are visiting who “don’t want to fucking leave”.

He says that sometimes, subtle attempts like yawning, checking your watch, and commenting that you have to get to work early in the morning, are just not enough, at which point it is time to break out the big guns.

Stian’s choice of weaponry is in the form of two offensively-scented candles, both made by the company The Candle Daddy (which, it should be said, specialises in offensively named candles, and the majority of its candles are not actually foul-smelling; for instance, two of its candles are called ‘Please Leave’ and ‘Get the Fuck Outta My House’, but Stian presumably did not choose these as they actually smell good). Specifically, Stian submits the ‘Swamp Ass’ and ‘Shart’ candle varieties as his prize submission. He actually lights the ‘Swamp Ass’ candle and passes it around on stage, making Atle and the rest of the contestants gag at the smell.

Atle awards Stian first place.

(Written by Jenny R and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by Jenny R and adjusted by David Fuller)