Nick and Steve focus on giraffe genitals

After a quick meet-up over the fences, Nick and Steve start rolling their blinds down and get on with painting. They both agree on painting a giraffe. Steve asks if the giraffe will be lying down, to which Nick replies “Giving birth”. Steve then suggests that the picture should be “long” to encompass the whole giraffe lying down. Nick replies saying “Yes. Portrait.”, and Steve responds in the affirmative.

Nick is confused about which blind he should start painting on, as he is unsure of how the blinds will be ordered. He then notices the blackboard above the doorway, reminding them of the order. They decide that Nick should focus on the head, as his Wikipedia entry is the shortest. Steve then says “Two, Steve”, since his show The League of Gentlemen had won Best Show at the Edinburgh Fringe in 1997. Nick therefore tasks him with drawing the neck. The two then try to decide on how heigh the giraffe’s head should be, during which Steve asks “Nipple?”, which just confuses Nick.

When Steve asks if the giraffe should have private parts, Nick responds “Big ones.” Steve also asks “Legs akimbo?”, and Nick agrees.

As they put the final touches to their paintings, Alex blows his whistle, and they are instructed to head towards the front door, so as to not look at each other’s work. The two men then greet each other with a big hug.

In the studio, Greg compliments the synergy of the two, and Steve notes that they’d had some “Chuckle Brothers energy” between them.

Alex then displays the very impressive results of their collaboration on screen, which astounds everyone, before he admits that it’s what the animal would have looked like, if both men had painted with the same orientation in mind (when, in reality, Nick had painted in portrait orientation, and Steve had gone with landscape).

The true results are much less impressive, although the men had managed to get the order of their sections correct (and had numbered them in the corners, as a reminder, during the process), as follows: the first section was painted by Nick, who had the shortest Wikipedia entry (c.7,100 vs. c.8,300 characters, at the time of writing); the second section was painted by Steve, who’d won Best Show at the Edinburgh Fringe (with The League of Gentlemen); the third section was painted by Nick, who has the smallest shoe size; the fourth section was painted by Steve, since he was the first one Alex said "hello" to (despite Nick having arrived first); the fifth section was painted by Nick, who had the most Twitter followers (c.133,000 vs. c.97,000, at the time of writing); and the final section was painted by Steve, whose full name is worth the least in Scrabble points (38 vs. 39).

The giraffe with its very large private parts ultimately earns Nick and Steve 5 points, which Greg says is “very over-generous”.

(Written by M3 / Andres Sanchez and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by Jenny R and adjusted by David Fuller)