Episode 5: Chip Biffington

Episode synopsis

In this episode, the contestants must bring in the most useless thing that cost them over £20, derive the most pleasure from some rubber chutes, perform the best routine to some music, play luggage trolley bowling, and communicate animals by saying letters while doing impressions of them.

Title context

According to Dara Ó Briain, 'Chip Biffington' was the name of the character played by the actor Biff Chippington, in the 1980s American sitcom, 'Scalpel Please!', created by his team during the 'Perform the best routine to this music' task.

Alternate Titles

• On Finland's MTV Katsomo streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Ranskis Turpasauna', which translates as 'Chip Beating'. What they've apparently done here is literally translate the name 'Chip' into 'chip' (as in 'fried potato chip'), and then converted the onomatopoeiac 'Biff' at the start of the name 'Biffington' into the word for 'beating' (as in 'beating up'). Weird that they didn't leave the episode title as it was, since it's a character's name. [Translator credit: zador]
• On Sweden's SVT Play streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Skalpell, tack', which translates as 'Scalpel, please'. This is a reference to Dara, John and Fern's attempt at the 'Perform the best routine to this music' task.

Taskmaster Intro

Hello. Welcome to Taskmaster. I'm Greg Davies, and I'm just your average guy. I like fast cars, good wine, and the feel of a strong mountain wind howling through my legs as I look across my kingdom, hands on hips, naked as the day I was born. Naked as my creator intended. Fully naked. It's within this kingdom that five disparate souls have been doing battle. Their task completing ability so far has ranged from 'Good' to 'Are you all right? Seriously? Do you need to call someone?'. Let's open a new chapter. But before we do... Still thinking about me naked on the mountain, aren't you? Me too. Hot sauce.

Assistant Intro

And next to me, a man who confided in me recently that he thinks all primary school teachers are the scum of the earth. It's little Alex Horne!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

So, what have we learnt today? We've learnt that some people are born with natural athletic ability: Dara has his hurling skills; Munya can target a cow through a rubbish chute; John can hit a trolley from 19 Noel Edmonds away; Fern can accurately throw a banana into the mouth of an idiot; and Sarah can punch a floating baguette. But if you've got children at home who are not naturally sporty, just leave them to develop, and they'll find their own skills and interests. Don't be such a compatative dad! Well done again to today's winner, John Kearns.