Episode 7: Lynx eyes

Episode synopsis

In this episode, the contestants must bring in the weirdest object to take home, completely erase an eraser, make some sauna stones steam, make a series of things happen at the same time, have the most fun before immediately recreating the fun as accurately as possible, hide three aubergines from Markl, and communicate things to Vasco using only sounds. The guest contestant in this episode is Diogo Valsassina.

Title context

Markl describes himself as having “lynx eyes” during the ‘Erase this eraser’ task, implying that he is very good at finding things. Lynx eyes is a Portuguese idiom meaning ‘sharp-sighted’, similar to the English idiom ‘eagle-eyed’.

Taskmaster Intro

Good evening, you’re all welcome to Taskmaster. I’m Vasco Palmeirim, Master of Ceremonies of this festival of surprising extravagant silliness and destroyer of reputations. With five people who, up until now, had their own lives and careers, but are now forced every week to be seen in ways that their educations didn’t prepare them for. Thankfully. They do everything and then some, go above and beyond, so that at the end of the season, they can take home the most sublime of trophies... I was going to say after, but no, BEFORE the Oscars. Who would want that bastard of a bald man that doesn’t even have a face, when you can have a faithful reproduction of this head adorning your formerly lacklustre living room? Applause for my small head, please. Beautiful, symmetric, a Greek god.

Contestant Intros

She’s a woman who won a legion of fans on Taskmaster, and the ‘Bicho’ Instagram lives of Bruno Nogueira. About it all, she said: ‘Suddenly, I’ve started to realise that I really had people who watched and liked me. And that’s wonderful.’ And it’s wonderful that we can count on her joy, on her madness, and even on her sulking whenever I give her low scores. It’s Ines Aires Pereira!

Note: Bruno Nogueira is a Portuguese comedian and actor.

A man who, during the first season of Taskmaster, was mostly unknown to the majority of Portuguese. Nowadays, he’s sold out shows all over the country, he’s on the radio, he was the face of a telephone brand. Were it not for the fact that he was born in Angola, I don’t doubt that by 2026 we would be calling him ‘Your Excellency, President of the Republic’. Gilmario Vemba!

A beautiful girl who became a woman right before our eyes. She was Mimi on ‘Morangos com Açúcar’. She’s a mommy to her Oliver. She was Tatão in the recent remake of ‘O Pai Tirano’. But on this show, she’s simply just our Jessy. Ladies and gentlemen, Jessica Athayde!

Note: Morangos com Açúcar (‘Strawberries with Sugar’) was a Portuguese teen drama in which Jessica appeared between 2005 and 2007. O Pai Tirano (‘The Tyrant Father’) is an iconic 1940s Portuguese comedy which was remade in 2022.

A man who was a precocious child. For example, he started smoking at nine. And when his father found out, he cut his 5$ allowance. At that time, little Toy wrote the following letter to Santa: ‘Dear Santa, I’ve been really good this year. So I want LEGOs, a He-Man, and a carton of SG Gigantes.’ Your applause for Toy!

Note: Vasco is referencing the escudo, a currency that was used in Portugal until 2002, when it was replaced by the euro. SG Gigantes is a brand of cigarettes.

Give a warm welcome to tonight’s guest. He’s someone who I particularly enjoy. We were together a while back, at a friend’s dinner. He came to me, touched my back, and said: ‘Look, Vasco. You don’t know this, but I’m the number one fan of Greg Davies, the English Taskmaster, and what you and Markl are doing, congrats. I’m really enjoying it.’ And I thought to myself, ‘You’re so screwed.’ Now he’s really screwed! Applause for Diogo Valsassina!

Assistant Intro

By my side to watch, professionally and properly referee the tasks of this lot... Applause for the man who sometimes suffers on the inside, and also on the outside, at the hands of these five. Applause for Nuno Markl!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

We’ve learned that we all have problems, stuff that makes us grate.
Erase them with a rubber, or get an iron to make it straight.
Sometimes we steam, the boiling point we almost hit.
We even find ourselves shouting, ‘But what even is this shit?!’
Bring friends to your house, get insurance against all.
They’ll hide some eggplants, and break the lights from the wall.
And we can go back to childhood, without being sneaks.
By just having a party, with slaps on the cheeks.