Episode 3: Five miles per day

Episode synopsis

In this episode the contestants must bring in the weirdest wooden thing, complete a surprise memory test, build a robust statue of a delicate thing, score a goal with a steamroller, break something and put it back together, and then simply fill a glass with water.

Title context

'Five miles per day' was how fast Alex Horne said David Baddiel was travelling during the 'Score a goal with a steamroller' task.

Alternate Titles

• On Denmark's TV2 Play streaming platform, this episode is titled '8 km/dag', which translates as '8 km/day'. Metric measurements of distance are standard in mainland Europe, so '8km/day' is more appropriate than 'five miles per day'.
• On Finland's MTV Katsomo streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Viisi mailia päivässä', which translates as 'Five miles per day'. [Translator credit: zador]
• On Norway's Discovery+ Norge streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Åtte kilometer om dagen', which translates as 'Eight kilometres per day'. Metric measurements of distance are standard in mainland Europe, so 'Eight kilometres per day' is more appropriate than 'five miles per day'. Note: this Norwegian translation of the title only appears in the subtitles for the episode, whereas the episode title listed on the platform is the original English title. [Translator credit: Jan Harald]

Taskmaster Intro

Hello! Welcome, one and all, to episode three of Taskmaster. Five comedians are at war with each other, all in a bid to get their mucky mitts on this finely crafted face cup. So, let's marvel once more at their wildly difference levels of competence and enthusiasm.

Assistant Intro

And, next to me is a young man who nibbles and scurries his way through life like a long human rat. It's... little Alex Horne!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

What have we learned today? We've learned that you've got a busy life, full of stress, deadlines and bills to be paid. Try and remember, that at the end of the day life is just injecting grapes with nothing. Thank you everybody for watching. And let's hear it again for tonight's winner, Katy Wix!