Episode 1: God’s haemorrhoid

Episode synopsis

In this episode the contestants must bring in the nicest thing to put in your mouth, fell a coconut and then move some drinks, make a large object vanish, get the most eggs into a frying pan, and then get the most balls into their bucket using litter pickers.

Title context

'God’s haemorrhoid' was how Johnny Vegas described the bunch of helium balloons he'd let fly up to the ceiling, in the 'Get the most eggs in the pan' task.

Alternate Titles

• On Denmark's TV2 Play streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Guds hæmoride', which translates as 'God's haemorrhoid'.
• On Finland's MTV Katsomo streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Jumalan peräpukamat', which translates as 'God's hemorrhoids'. [Translator credit: zador]
• On Sweden's SVT Play streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Teddybjörnen Testarsson', which translates as 'Teddy Bear Taskersson'. Teddybjörnen Testarsson is likely a pun on the famous song, Teddybjörned Fredriksson. The title is a reference to the use of the teddy bears in the 'Fell the coconut, then move the drinks' task. [Translator credit: DANI]
• On Norway's Discovery+ Norge streaming platform, this episode is titled 'Guds hemoroide', which translates as 'God's haemorrhoid'. Note: this Norwegian translation of the title only appears in the subtitles for the episode, whereas the episode title listed on the platform is the original English title. [Translator credit: Jan Harald]

Assistant Intro

And, next to me, the man whose job it is to keep track of all the facts and figures. He's been my personal assistant for coming up to six years and yet, we've genuinely only socialised together three times. His neck is the same width as his head, he chooses to wear plastic, slip-on shoes, and he once told me that at some point nearly every day, he cries. It's little Alex Horne!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

At this point in the show, I usually look back at something that's happened. Something that humanity can reflect on. Gain from, even. In today's case, it's pretty easy. What have we learnt today? We've learnt that you can't fill an egg with helium! Thanks for watching. Well done again to tonight's winner, Richard Herring!