Something you can threaten with, that is not a weapon

Task stats

Points

15

Disquals

0

• Lars brings in a school bun (a Norwegian pastry filled with cream and topped with shredded coconut), as part of an overcomplicated and dastardly plan to kill Olli, using his allergies against him. He presents the three steps of his plan using cartoon drawings, which are shown on the screen. Step 1 (titled 'Escalation') is that Lars has hidden a shrimp in the pocket of Olli's jacket. Olli is only slightly allergic to shellfish, so this would not kill him, but give him an itchy, dry throat. Seeking to sooth this, Lars anticipates that he would reach for the glass of water next to his chair. Lars has dropped a walnut into this water, which Olli is much more allergic to. Step 2 of the plan ('Exploiting Olli's crisis') begins with Olli experiencing a severe allergic reaction to the nut, and seeking help from a nurse. As a qualified nurse, Lars would be on hand, but says he would not give Olli the necessary EpiPen, in order to counteract the anaphylactic shock. Step 3 of the plan ('The end') is that Olli would then run towards Lars, seeking the EpiPen, and fall face-first into the school bun on the floor. He would then ingest some of the bun, and experience a further allergic reaction, finishing him off. As soon as Lars has finished describing his plan, he realises that it is terrible. Bård points out that, for his plan to work, everything has to go exactly as Lars expects, and that the likelihood of Olli landing face-first on the bun is incredibly low. He points out that Lars could have instead just submitted the school bun alone as a threat, saying "You had me at school bun" (thus coining the title of the episode). Bård ultimately puts him in fourth place.
• Hani brings in a staple gun, and a picture of Bård, into the eyes of which she has inserted staples. She spends some time stressing that staples are very easy and sometimes relatively painless to insert into the body, but are much harder and more painful to then remove. She states that there are various parts of the body that are also very sensitive. She keeps insisting that she is not threatening Bård, but merely informing him of the posssibility that such a thing could happen. Bård ultimately awards her third place.
• Karin brings in a pot containing long-tailed silverfish, which she found in her parents' bathroom. She points out that these invertebrates reproduce prolificly and quickly become a pest that you cannot get rid of, in your home. She says her parents have had them in their house for 20 years, and that her mother had refused to try to get rid of them, since she thought it was 'nice' to have them around. She also says that her dad had moved out of the house, suggesting that the silverfish had also ruined her parents' marriage. Bård notes that she has solved the task, but also likely had a negative effect on the value of her parents' home, by disclosing the infestation on television. Karin rests her case after clarifying that the silverfish could be used to infest the home of an enemy, and they therefore qualify as something that can be used as a threat. Bård awards her second place in the task.
• Vidar brings in a letter from a hospital, confirming an appointment that he has scheduled for Bård, to undergo a prostate exam and colonoscopy. After Bård reads the letter out loud, Vidar calls the doctor on his phone, and begins a conversation with him (pretending to be Bård), before handing the phone over to Bård himself. The doctor says that he'd been thinking about calling Bård because of some pictures that Vidar (as Bård) had sent him, which had given him reason to want to expedite the appointment. The doctor seems very concerned about the 'large protrusions' depicted in the photos, and asks whether Bård is able to perform normal bowel movements. Bård dodges that question, but asks the doctor whether prostate exams can actually feel quite good, as he'd heard from friends. The doctor reassures him that he would receive anaesthesia, and that the biopsy would be taken transperineally, rather than rectally, to reduce the risk of infection. Bård passes the phone back to Vidar, who ends the call. It seems that Vidar had found the pictures that he shared with the doctor online. Bård clarifies that the threat, then, is the prospect of undergoing invasive and embarrassing procedures at the 'butt-doctor'. He notes that it is the most creative solution to the task, but that he doesn't feel the threat. He also points out that, since Vidar is paying for it, the appointment is actually more of a gift. Vidar therefore earns last place.
• Leo initially puts his hand in his pocket and points it at Bård, through his jacket, simulating a handgun. However, this is just a joke, and his actual prize task submission is a single concrete brick. He notes that many criminals who rob people have come up with 'nicer' ways to do so, than pointing guns at them. He describes how a friend of his, who returned to Bosnia, had returned home one day to find strangers on his property. The strangers were holding such a brick, with a price tag of 100 euros attached to it, and were insisting that he could have it for just 50 euros. Bård suggests that one could just decline the offer, but Leo points out that when there are a group of people stood around you, holding a brick, and perhaps even insisting that you'd ordered it, you might not have the nerve to do so. Bård notes that Leo's description of the event had probably done as much good for Bosnian tourism as Karin's revelation of her parents' silverfish problem had done for the value of their home. Leo ultimately wins the task.