Reach the microwave in the fewest steps

Task stats

Points

14

Disquals

1

• Al begins by crawling on all fours under a hurdle, almost getting stuck, but slithering though. He continues to crawl, stating that “none of it’s steps” and that “this is a metaphor for showbusiness”. He crawls under the metal fence and then continues by walking on his knees across the grass, to the microwave. His method is questioned by the other contestants in the studio, but Alex confirms that all definitions he’d found for ‘step’ involved feet. Al “mainly kneeling some stepping” Murray is judged to have taken 8 steps, and earns 4 points.
• Rob hands Alex his coat and states “I’m gonna roll there”. He rolls down the track but soon begins to feel dizzy. As two joggers pass him, he shouts out “This is the future mate!”. He then comments about the fact that he is getting covered in goose shit. He has to stop briefly, he’s just had a big coffee, and he’s beginning to feel sick. He is then heard retching, and commenting that his head might explode. Once he reaches the edge of the track, he stands up, then leans and pivots himself over the metal barrier, landing flat on his back. Alex describes the manoeuvre as a “forward reach over-we-go with tumble pike, with a 6.2 difficulty”. Now on the grass, Rob gets back down on the ground and continues rolling towards the microwave. In the studio, Greg asks how long Rob took, and Alex responds only that the time is “irrelevant”. Rob is judged to have only taken 4 small steps. The “shitty sicky performance” from “Rob the Roller” earns him 5 points.
• Paul took lots of little steps on a hurdle, before taking longer steps to the microwave. He took a total of 125 steps, but did not reach the microwave in time.Paul walks straight past the task brief, and Alex has to call him back. Alex explains where the microwave is, and Paul asks where it plugged in. When Alex explains that there is a generator hidden behind the nearby tree, Paul observes that he didn’t know that trees had generators. Paul begins his journey by laying a hurdle flat on the track and stepping on to it, before slowly shuffling along, asking “Is that a step?”. He continues stepping on hurdles and makes slow progress. The microwave has long since finished cooking the soup by the time he eventually reaches it, using long strides. He continues walking this wazy even as he leaves the scene of the task. In the studio, Greg recites the “old Chinese proverb”, “When is a step not a step? When it’s on a fucking hurdle!”. It is revealed that Paul had taken 125 steps (more than if he’d just walked normally). Paul is disqualified from the task, as it took him 7 minutes to reach the microwave, although Greg says he would have loved to have given him artistic style points.
• Dave takes really long strides down the track, negotiating the hurdles and the crash mat at quite a pace. He reaches the fence and leaps onto it, wincing. Once onto the grass, he does three forward rolls to reach the microwave. In the studio, Greg says that he was surprised by Dave’s performance, as he’d seen his live shows and they were well thought out and clever. Dave explains that he’d initially thought the task brief meant that you had to take steps, but just as few as possible, but then he’d realised he could use other methods to travel, once he reached the grass. Dave “big stepper” Gorman is judged to have taken 50 steps, and he earns 2 points.
• Sara decides to cartwheel down the track. It has clearly been raining, and the ground is extremely wet. As she reaches each hurdle, she moves it out of her way (she is the only one to do this). She then rolls across the crash mat, before continuing her cartwheeling down the track. Once over the fence, she crawls on all fours, stating “It’s very poo-y, Alex.” In the studio, Greg characterises her cartwheeling method as “just fancy stepping”. Sara “Fancy step” Pascoe is judged to have taken 27 steps, and she earns 3 points.