Episode 2: Symmetry is fundamental

Episode synopsis

In this episode the contestants must bring in the best thing they have taken from someone else's home, find out about a Chinese person, eat as much watermelon as possible, unravel a roll of tape, paint a horse while riding a horse, create an impressive fountain, spectacularly deliver a task brief, and roll a toilet roll across the stage. The guest contestant is António Zambujo.

Title context

'Symmetry is fundamental' was how António Zambujo described his attempt at the 'Create an impressive fountain' task.

Taskmaster Intro

Good evening, I'm Vasco Palmeirim. Welcome to Taskmaster. Each week, a quintet of wonderful people with a spotless criminal record - at least until now - are going to show how they fared through my tasks.

Contestant Intros

A very talented woman who said that, even today, when she auditions for a role, she sweats from the palms, and also from her upper lip. I now understand how, in the audition for Taskmaster, she gave a moustache to her competitors. It's Inês Aires Pereira!

Note: The phrase 'dar um bigode' ['give a moustache'] in Portuguese is an idiom meaning 'easily beat the competition'.

A very talented man who, at the age of five, accidentally drank petrol. On the bright side, he's now a very healthy lad. The downside is that the petrol would now be worth 3,500 euro. It's Gilmário Vemba!

A very talented woman who says that one of the most relaxing things is taking a long bath at the end of the day. Of course, after having become a mother, a 'long bath' is a 37-second shower, interrupted abruptly by her kid, who wants to poo. It's Jessica Athayde!

A talented man with a lot of history: started smoking at 9; quit by 13; got married at 17; and retired at 21. Which means his entire music career was due to the New Opportunities education programme. It's Toy!

Note: Novas Opportunidades ['New Opportunities'] was the name of a Portuguese government education initiative, in the early 2010s, which allowed people who had completed their education under an older system, or had dropped out of school early, to have their old diplomas updated and officially recognised as a high school degree. The initiative was widely mocked as an attempt by the government to artificially raise the population's academic levels, so it wouldn't look as bad compared to other EU countries.

A man who once toured the country with a group of 6 musicians, on stage, and now tours with his only his voice and a guitar. I asked if that was an homage to his Brazilian influences, to which he replied, “No, no, I was just tired of splitting the cash with 6 apes.” It's António Zambujo!

Assistant Intro

And assisting me in my role of Taskmaster, a man I fully trust. I've known him for 15 years, during which I've hugged him, I've insulted him, and - gosh darn it! - I've even let him borrow my underwear. Ladies and gentlemen... Nuno Markl!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

Everything you do here the camera records,
Like painting a picture while riding a horse.
Understanding Mandarin can go over one's head,
Watermelon in under a minute? I'll make a gazpacho instead.
We've also learned there's a tenuous border, I suppose,
Between a striking fountain and a fool on a dingy with a hose.
But what's stuck in my mind, what I'll really recall,
Is that Markl's father is the Angolan Darth Vader after all.

Note: This sign-off poem was translated by a member of the Taskmaster Worldwide Inc team, who put in extra effort to ensure that the translation rhymed in English, rather than just providing a literal translation.