Episode 1: Single, but staffed

Episode synopsis

In this first episode of the show, the contestants must bring in the most embarrassing thing, fell all the ducks, extract a ping-pong ball from a tube, name birds while chewing on gummy candies, retrace a blindfolded walk as accurately as possible, score a basket without using their hands, make a weighing scale read out a particular weight, and guess the five syllable words being enunciated by the Taskmaster.

The guest contestant in this episode is Fernando Mendes.

Title context

'Single, but staffed' was how Fernando Mendes described himself, during the 'Travel blindfolded for three minutes and retrace your steps' task.

Taskmaster Intro

Welcome all, I'm Vasco Palmeirim, and this is Taskmaster, the show where five well known celebrities contend in a series of hilarious tasks that defy their agility, reasoning ability and, essentially, is a programme that promises to devastate their reputations.

Contestant Intros

She's a Leo, and her biggest dream is to have a natural childbirth. She already tried a childbirth with fruit pieces and a strawberry-flavoured childbirth, but it's not quite the same thing. She wants a natural childbirth: Inês Aires Pereira!

He's a Gemini, and his greatest dream is to someday open a school where he can help develop very specific skills in the youth. Who knows? Maybe one day Nuno Markl could enrol to improve his unique talent of imitating orcas. Ladies and gentlemen: Gilmário Vemba!

A Sagittarius, this woman has been chasing her dream for two years now. No, she doesn't want Oscars. No, she doesn't want wealth. She just wants to sleep. #LetJessySleep. Jessica Athayde!

An Aquarius, his dream is to one day make his own versions of famous musicals. Here on Taskmaster, we can hardly wait to attend such classics as “The Sound of Toysic”, “The Phantom of the Toypera” and, of course, my favourite, “Toymma Mia!”. It's Toy!

He's a Pisces, and he's loved by the Portuguese, and I love him. In fact, I love him so much that, if I wasn't married, and he invited me to dinner, and we hit it off... well, I wouldn't make any promises. It's Fernando Mendes!

Assistant Intro

Always with me: a friend, the godfather of my eldest son, and my karaoke companion in bars in Moita, where we sing 'We've Got Tonight' - he as Kenny Roger and me, obviously, as Sheena Easton. Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Nuno Markl!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
If it gives you a hoop, go on an escapade.
Hoses on ducks just make them wet.
You won't need Poirot if you're missing the net.
If in a sticky situation you are caught,
Call Antonio so he can bite it off.
Balls stuck in pipes are no obstacle,
Because with a vacuum cleaner, you'll get SPECTACLE.

Note: This sign-off poem was translated by a member of the Taskmaster Worldwide Inc team, who put in extra effort to ensure that the translation rhymed in English, rather than just providing a literal translation.